Friday, May 30, 2014

5 gym bag must haves!

It's Friday!!!! Time for the Friday Five Link up with Eat Pray Run DC, Mar on the Run and You Signed Up For What?!  What are FIVE things you have in your gym bag?

Well, if I am completely honest with you, I do not have a gym bag.  I don't own one and I do not have a gym membership anymore.  Once I fell in love with running, I ditched the club and put the money towards my daughters dance class instead.  Now it is just me and the open road 365 days a year.  Heat, humidity, rain, blizzards and even hurricanes have not stopped me from pounding the pavement.  However, I still have a small arsenal of must have items when I head out.

First thing? My HipS-sister of course! Thanks to the amazing Linda at Traveling Light and Comfortable , I am the owner of the Global HipS-sister and it is a great addition to my running gear! Why?  Well it is a sleek, comfortable way for me to carry what I need too while I am out running.  No matter how many miles I go I wear it to hold the essentials.  It is light and I never even realize I am wearing it.  Best part?  The Baby Bump has grown to ginormous proportions and I am STILL able to use it!

Next up is the reason I purchased the Hips-sister in the first place.  I am a runner running with a severe allergy to any stinging insect so I must MUST remember to carry my Epipen.
On longer runs I need to carry two.  If stung, the Epipens buy me 40 minutes to get to a hospital so every second counts.  At first running with an allergy was terrifying.  I would be out and see bees everywhere and freak out.  But now that I have a way to carry my Epipens I feel much much more at ease and I can forget they are there in the HipS-sister.

Which leads me to the reason I had to buy the Global HipS-sister and not the Coastal, I also need to have my phone on me.  I have always run with my phone, in my arm band because I used to use it as a GPS device and a music player.  However, about a year ago I decided to just start running naked, after a race that my phone failed me on and I missed a PR by ONE second!!! Now I run to the sounds of the road or trail and I no longer need my phone for distraction.  It is now thrown in the HipS-sister as an emergency backup.  If I am in trouble out on the run, stung or you know having a baby or something.  I can stop, stay
calm and call for help.  I have an android phone so the wider HipS-sister was needed.  And a little secret?  There are a few occasions I still use it to blast some tunes.  Like for example, this past Christmas season I would head out for a run in the snow and just loop around neighborhoods looking at decorated houses and I would play Christmas songs.  It was very peaceful and fun!

Last two items?  No they do not go into my HipS-sister although, gum just missed the list and I always have an extra piece in the pocket.  The last two items are my Nathan Reflective Vest and my Garmin Forerunner
110.  My vest is a total must have since being a mommy with a hubby who leaves the house at 4:30 am means that 90% of my time to get out there and run is in the fading light of day into the darkness of night. I love that I can have a reflective vest that I can count on to be visible.  It is also great to wear out on overcast and rainy days to give that extra pop of color for visibility through the gray and rain.  It gives me a sense of security that I am doing everything possible to be seen as a runner in order to avoid being hit.  And of course the Garmin.  I mean come on we all want to know the distance we have run and the pace at which we have done so.  Whether it is so we can push our limits and set records or so we can practice holding it at a certain pace for a certain distance.  The watch is fantastic! I love the fact that I can check in whenever I want to see how far I have gone and how long it has taken me.  I have this slight problem of always trying to better myself and that watch helps me see how I am doing.  Right now it is helping me to remember to take it easy and even on days where I have no pregnancy pains it helps me to stop at a distance I know isn't pushing it.

So what is in your gym bag? Or your must haves when you hit the road running?  Anyone else running with Epipens?  How are you dealing with that?

Thursday, May 29, 2014

#TBT Link Up!!!!

These blog link ups are so so so much fun! I am so enjoying getting to know more and more blogs and blog owners! Today, I joined This Mama Runs for Cupcakes, How My World Runs, She Cooks She Crafts She Runs and Fitness Mom Wine Country for a Throwback Thursday post!

 I went through the blog and decided well why not link the throwback post I did? I happened to re-read it today, after a conversation over on Putting My Best Foot Forward.  What do you think?  What would your letter to your body say?

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Run Happy

Sometimes we set out on becoming a runner not because we are happy, but because we are running from something.  Whether we are running from infertility, depression, loneliness, stress, or any other of the billion things that leave us feeling like we have no where to turn, no where to go.  We need outlets and running is most definitely an outlet.  At first it is hard, but while you are out there a sense of peace overcomes you and just for a moment you forget your fears, insecurities and worries.  You are one with your breath, your heart and your thoughts.  Running can and will get you through some very very tough times.  Meet Kassy! A fellow Mainer and this weeks WICKED INSPIRING WEDNESDAY feature.  Brave beyond words knowing that each day she could get news of her husband not returning.  Young and strong she took to running to get her through her husbands deployment and now continues running in honor of fallen military members.  She is one cool Mother Runner.  

I started running in June of 2006. I was 21 years old. I had been married for eight months and my husband had just left on his first deployment with the United States Marine Corps. I had run on and off in high school. I played varsity soccer so I ran with the team, when I had to, but never on my own. At 21 years old, newly married and scared out of my mind with the unknowns of deployments I needed an outlet. One day I just figured I would go for a run. My stress was relived as I pounded my thoughts out on the pavement. I was hooked! I ran almost every day of that deployment. In December 2006 my husband safely returned. I continued to run. I had started to enjoy it, plus the toned legs and arms I had was a huge bonus! In April 2007 my husband was again sent on deployment. This time to Iraq. Just four months after he got home. I was again overwhelmed with worries, frustration, and a little anger. I ran. Running kept my mind from thinking the worst thoughts when it had been days since I had heard from him. Running helped me celebrate on the days I got letters and phone calls. Running helped me count down the days. On November 10, 2007 he once again returned! Safe and sound!! Running helped me RUN to his arms when he stepped off that bus! Fast forward to today. May 2014. My husband has been out of the Marine Corps since August 2008. He served four years. We have moved from Camp Lejeune in North Carolina to Maine. We now have an amazing 14 month old son. I ran for the first 13 weeks of pregnancy, but then had to stop due to severe hip and lower back pain. I walked my running routes every day. Running was a big challenge after birth. It took me a while to heal, and then I had some issues nursing him that kept my running shoes in the closet. Finally when my son was seven months old I ran a 12 mile race called "run for the fallen" to honor fallen military members. It was the best race I had ever run. I currently average about 12 miles a week. The cold snowy winter and a baby kept my running at bay the past few months. However now that spring is upon us and my son is happy to be in the jogger we head out every other morning to run together and I am looking forward to my next 5K June 7th. As I type this its crazy to think thatrunning has been my outlet for eight years! I love the challenge of running up a huge hill and feeling like you will never reach the top, but feeling elated when you do! It's a runners high for sure!!! It has its moments where it feels like work, and its hard to figure out how to work it in with kids, but we have a saying in my house "Momma is happy when she runs." My awesome husband, who runs his own gun business and helps his Dad run the family power equipment business, supports me and makes time for my runs when ever he can. My ipod running play list is called "run happy" because running makes me happy.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Five places I would love to....

RUN, of course!!!!

TGIF running friends! I am super excited this week to be linking up with Eat Pray Run DC, Mar on the Run and You Signed Up for What?!, for my first ever blog link up party!!!! This week was Five Places I Would Like to Run.  As I sat down to ponder this, I knew a few places that hands down would go on my list.  My problem was narrowing it down to FIVE.  Just FIVE?!  My media news feeds are LITTERED with places that I would love to run.  Each time someone posts pictures from races or training runs I am immediately jealous and wishing I was running there too.

So I struggled, I made lists and side lists and themed lists and distance lists and then I went out to dinner with my husband to think about it more over dessert.  I decided that I was going to make a bucket list, list.  The five places I need to run before I stop running.  So without further ado, here are the five places that have got me dreaming of running them:

Freedom Trail; Boston, MA
I LOVE, I mean LOVE the city of Boston, MA.  I also love historical scenes and information.  Imagine my surprise when with a bit of research I found that they literally RUN the Freedom Trail in Boston every Friday, Saturday and Sunday! You get a running tour of the cities most historical sites and you get to do it with other people! A 5k loop brings you through the cities most historical landmarks that you will get to stop and explore and learn about, all while rocking your running clothes and being active.  Totally my idea of a fun weekend run! Oh and bonus?  You totally get a shirt at the end too!!! Got to love the running bling!!!

Nike Women's Half, DC
Speaking of bling, ummmm why not score a Tiffany's necklace as your race medal?! YES PLEASE!!!! Not to mention that again you are running by and near our nations historical landmarks.  Oh yeah and the time of year is SPRING, which means cherry blossoms and pure beauty as you run the 13.1 mile route with 14,000 other women! Nike Women's Half not only celebrates women it also raises money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) and their charity program Team in Training (TNT). Met at the finish line by men in tuxedos handing you a tiny blue box is probably the best finish line experience ever.  Yes, sign me up please!

Coast of Maine
This one is not really a bucket list contender since I run the coast of Maine whenever I want.  Including once running around the Isle au Haut, an island off the coast of Maine that is half part of Acadia National Park.  The views are just simply breath taking and you NEVER know what is going to be around the next corner. From wildlife, to rainbows and crashing waves the views are always changing and never seize to amaze me.  As for races I have been eyeing the Maine Coast Marathon to take on.  After all it is 26.2 miles of coast line and small quaint Maine towns, You really can NOT go wrong with that! Plus I have heard the volunteers are amazing ;) (future blog on what I learned while volunteering at the Maine Coast Marathon coming soon!)

Mount Washington Auto Road Race
So this one is all about pure PURE challenge and of course a rewarding view at the very end. 7.6 miles of all hill.  It is only one hill but you go all the way up and end literally in the clouds at the top of Mount Washington, NH, where it is one of the most extreme weather spots in the world! This is definitely not a race to PR in but one to survive and have finishing be your goal.  It is a lottery entry so luck must be on your side but if it is you can literally run to the clouds and earn that ride back down :)  

Disney Princess Half, Walt Disney World 
I saved this one for last.  It is my DREAM race.  Like absolute fantasy race!!!!!! It usually occurs around my mine and my husband's wedding anniversary weekend so I have been working on him to have a family vacation to Disney for some running as our "gift".  What girl doesn't want to relive her girlhood princess dreams and run 13.1 miles through the most enchanted place on Earth being cheered on by none other than the Disney Princesses?  Seriously, it must be pure magic and I am hoping that one day I will get there. Who knows maybe sooner rather than later ;)

What is on your race or run bucket list?  Where is your favorite place to run?  Interested in running any of my list?

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Finding yourself: You are never JUST a mama!

I am sure I am not alone when I answer with oh I am just a mom, when people ask me what my career is.  It's sort of like saying as a runner oh I have only run JUST a half, or JUST a 10k.  But here is the thing, yes you are a runner and you ran a half or a 10k or yes you are a mom but you are NEVER JUST a runner or a mom.  Being a mom is hard, its a selfless job and we often times get wrapped up in our mommy duties and we forget that we too are people.  People that also at times need to be the priority.  We need prime time bathroom or shower slots sometimes, we need to have "time outs" and special snacks or rewards.  But here is the thing about being a mom; when we remember that we too count and we become "selfish" and make ourselves a priority it opens the door for our kids and spouses, family and friends to get to know the real person you are.  So they can see how strong, brave, determined, inspiring and real you are.

This is what our Wicked Inspiring Wednesday runner did!!! She started to take herself out of the dark and into the light.  She made herself a priority so that she could shine for her kids.  Meet Kelly, author of the blog Seelife3D, who decided that she was worth the time.  And she took the time to discover herself.  Which in turned changed the like of her whole family.

I decided I needed to change my lifestyle. I had given birth to twin girls that had just turned one-year-old not too long before. I could no longer use the excuse of “I just had babies” anymore. My weight had reached the point where not only were clothes not fitting, but my joints were beginning to hurt.  I couldn’t comfortably sit on the floor with my kids, let alone kneel. And my mood was dark. I had lost who I was as a person. I was “just” a momma and a stay-at-home wife; I made every effort not to go out of my house unless I had to. My weight had increased to 228 pounds and my 5’4’ body was struggling.
My place of comfort had gotten so dark, that my husband urged me to go find help.  He felt maybe finding a professional would help me sort out my thoughts and feelings. That was the best decision that I could have ever made for my family and me.  I started going to therapy:  talking, opening up, getting to know this woman I had become.  In therapy, I learned that it was okay to have the feelings I did as a new mother; they were normal emotions. But the mistake I made was I became so wrapped up in the needs of my babies, my husband, my house, and my dog, that I neglected myself.  I had not placed myself anywhere on the priority list.
Little by little, I began to try to give myself the priority, and in the beginning it was small. At first, it was just getting out of the house alone twice a week for thirty minutes to walk. When I walked, I was able to clear the cobwebs from my brain. I smiled, and I enjoyed the still silence of nature around me. A month went by and I was consistently walking twice a week.  I began to look at what my family and I were eating, and slowly I started to change some of our food choices. I joined “MyfitnessPal” and began to record what I put into my mouth; that helped with portion control. I was faithful to my daily calorie total. I made sure to hit it, but not to go over.
Another month or so went by, and little by little the weight began to disappear.  I had a couple of friends that had started the Couch to 5k program. They found it to be successful. I quickly said, “Oh, I never enjoyed running.  I could always walk faster than I could run. It’s not for me.” But my curiosity got the best of me, so I downloaded it and decided to try.
It sucked. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I gave it my all and by the end of week two of the program, I was not only in a lot of pain, I wasn’t able to run or ‘wog’ (walk/jog). I cried to a dear friend about what was happening, and I will never forget what she said. She said to step away from the program, and that maybe I needed to lose a good deal of weight before trying it again.  My friend suggested that I should stick to walking since I enjoyed it so much. I had to stop and put my big girl panties on and say, “Okay, I will do just that; I will not fail.” I went back to walking, but this time I would time myself, and each time I would work on beating the previous time. I joined a boot camp class, and learned about weights and the beloved kettle bell.  I bought a kettle bell and began working with it and a couple of DVDs at home.
By the end of September 2012, I had lost close to 30 pounds. My routine was boot camp on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; kettle bell workout on Tuesdays; walking on Thursdays. By mid-October, I was noticing that I could run during the warm up at boot camp class. I could even run with a bit of ease. So I thought, “Okay! Let’s see if the Couch to 5 k will be different this time.” AND IT WAS. I wasn’t in pain; I wasn’t fast, but I could do it and not be in pain. That was huge. By early November, I walked away from boot camp, and filled my workout time with kettle bell DVDs and the Couch to 5k program. By the end of November, I registered for my first 5k. I was able to run half of the 5k nonstop which I was so proud of, because to me that was HUGE. After the first race, I just kept going, scheduling twice a week runs. I pushed the runs longer every few weeks to challenge myself.
In February 2013, I was asked to join a Ragnar team. I thought the leader was nuts and told her so. I mean I was (and still am) new to running; I had only one race under my belt. I couldn’t even make it over four miles yet. But she had faith in me and felt I would be a perfect addition to the team. She told me to keep doing what I was doing and I would be fine by July. So I put my faith in her and signed on.   In March of 2013, I ran my second 5k and ended up taking second in my age group. May came and I ran in my first 12k race. June is here and I completed my first 10k.
People ask me why I run, and I tell them because I feel alive. It lets me breathe. The respect I have for the sport is deep. It has not only changed me, but also my family and the relationships with those around me. I want to be a strong role model for my twin two-year-old girls who ask me, “Momma, you were eXERcising?” (then they do a little running in place flash dance style). I want to help those around me that are dealing with dark moments, extra weight or just feeling like they no longer know who they are.  I want them to know it’s not the end, that it’s not a wall that you cannot get over; however, it is a crossroad in life where you have to decide that you are important, that you matter, and that you are worth it.
To date I’m still 5’4’ (ha ha), and I’ve lost a little over 85 pounds. But I’ve gained more physically, mentally, socially and emotionally than I ever thought possible.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Life gives lemons, I run

Inspiration comes at us from anywhere.  You never know when you are going to get hit in the face with a moment of pure clarity.  A moment that leaves you feeling awestruck and unable to speak.  One that gives you goosebumps and motivation to change your life, to change the world, to CHANGE! 

With that, I bring back the Wicked Inspiring Wednesday feature on the blog.  I LOVE reading stories about how others found running, or running found them.  I sit here and cry or laugh and then store the story away for when the going gets tough out on a training run. I bring up the story when I am struggling and that person is there encouraging me, letting me know I too can do it.  For when life gives you lemons, and sometimes they are HUGE lemons, well just simply ask for running shoes.

Today, I am proud to have you meet Misty.  A fellow mother runner who's strength and bravery left me in awe.  Married at 18 and widowed at 24.  Her strength and maturity from a young age is amazing.

I'm a 36 year old homeschooling mom of 5. I enjoy running and actually crave it at times! I didn't always enjoy it though! Here's my story.

Joe and I loved spending time together and we loved food! We enjoyed cooking together and we loved surprising each other with our favorite foods. Joe's favorite was Taco Bell. I fondly remember when he would bring me my favorite lunch at work. I actually still have the napkins that he wrote love notes on. 

Needless to say we both gained weight through the years as do many young married couples. I however also gained weight due to having 2 babies. I was young, in love, content with life, and had a hubby who enjoyed food just as much as me. What more could you ask for?

Well, that all changed when Joe was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer on January 1, 2002. I couldn't eat if I tried! Joe decided he didn't want to try Chemo or Radiation and they weren't sure that would work anyways so we went the all natural route. That didn't seem to work and of course Joe wasn't used to eating completely clean. He would have me sneak him to Taco Bell for his favorite foods. Those memories can make it seem that we had so much time together after his diagnosis, but the truth is, we only had 1 month. It seems like an eternity and blink of an eye all at the same time.

Joe passed away February 9th, 2002. My life changed. I became a widow. I became the sole provider and caretaker of our two precious babies, Jolynn (2) and Joe (6 months). We could never afford life insurance and the cobra insurance was very expensive. I started really analyzing my life as a mother and decided I needed to be healthy for my children. I also had to start considering how I was going to provide for them while still being able to spend quality time with them. Our plan had always been for me to be able to stay home and raise them so I wanted to honor that. I started looking for a job that would allow me that opportunity.

I started nursing school. I figured I would be able to work fewer days with longer shifts and still be able to be home a good amount of time. Sounded great. While going to classes I began to get convicted. How would I be a promoter of health while unhealthy myself? Again back to my analyzing being healthy for my children. I weighed 240 lbs and I know that wasn't healthy for me or my children. 

Before and After
I began to work out and eat right and within 4 months I lost 100 lbs. My workouts consisted of running and weightlifting routines. I ate correct portions of healthy food and other foods in moderation. I finally was healthy for myself and my children. This is where my passion began! I vowed I would never see that 240 lb woman again. I went through a time of guilt. "Why didn't I do this when Joe was alive? Why couldn't we be healthy together, etc." I didn't let that last long, I just started being thankful that finally I did it! That's what means most! No Regrets!

I eventually remarried and now have 3 more children. With each pregnancy I gained 100lbs and again worked hard and lost it all. I even got down smaller than when I was in High School!! Imagine that! I truly developed a love for running! I had surgery a couple of years ago and was unable to run for some time and it was depressing. I craved running! The depression in addition to severe anemia that my at that time hematologist could not figure out led to a stronger depression. I gained weight, I was unmotivated, I was unhealthy. I needed to get a grip!

My Buddy Collin IRun4Collin
Then a miracle happened! I have always been one to want to bring awareness to those that need help. So while searching out a way to do this I found a wonderful group! A group that let your running become a blessing to someone that can't run! I found that motivation that had been missing for so long. I lost sight of my passion. I forgot all about the one thing that helped me get through the loss I suffered. I found!! This group is amazing! It has restored my passion. It has restored my motivation and continues to grow my desire to help others and bring awareness to so many needs! 

I signed up to be matched as a runner. I was blessed with a wonderful buddy named Collin! Collin has been diagnosed with Lennox Gastaut Syndrome(type of Epilepsy that is very difficult to control) Autism, Moderate Mental Retardation, and Cortical Vision Impairment. It is my goal to bring awareness to his needs and do all I can to be a blessing to him. This journey has been a wonderful one so far! I workout daily in honor of Collin and keep in contact with his mom to let him know! 

This group not only has helped me find my passion and motivation again, it has helped me be a good example for my children and has also opened my eyes to other ways my family and I can be a blessing others with health needs. If you enjoy running or even if you are aspiring runner take some time to look up information on this group. I promise you that you will not be disappointed and you wont be able to hold back from signing up for a buddy! The waiting list is long but again I promise you the wait will be worth it! 
Beautiful family

Many have shared with me that I have inspired them to begin running. Now you know the purpose behind my passion! I believe running helped me deal with the grief of losing my husband, I believe it gave me a new start with my babies, and it has also given me new meaning to life (using my passion to help others!). What is your passion? What are you doing with it?  
Amazing Misty

Sunday, May 11, 2014

You know you are a Crazy Mama Runner when...

We have seen all of the “you know you are a runner, when…” lists, ebibs, and blog posts floating around.  We scan the list and respond affirmatively; nod, yep, yep, oh yes, most definitely.  I LOVE these lists.  I sit there and read and feel a connection.  They allow me to remember,  I am one of a family, a community.  We are runners and while we run solo we are one.  We come together, we support, we lift up and we encourage.  

Lately, I am holding on to the title of runner by a small thread.  Mentally I am having a tough time allowing myself to still hold the
title I worked hard for.  Ever since a late night run in a blizzard back in January of 2012 I have allowed myself the amazing title of RUNNER.  However, being 32 weeks pregnant and having to change my entire running routine, race schedule and running mantras has me feeling a bit left out of the running circle.  

I know that running pregnant is not the most popular sport.  I mean why after all, would you really get the urge to grow a human AND head out for a 6 mile jaunt? While I do not have the answer to the why, I know I cannot be the ONLY crazy mama runner who has decided, that yes I do have the urge to do both.  So Mother Runners, this one is for you…

You know you are a Crazy Mama Runner when;

Your big 6 mile loop turns into ½ mile jaunts with your house at the center.  That way you are never more than ½ mile from the bathroom.  

You plan every single run around where you can go to the bathroom if needed.

You go to the bathroom 5 times BEFORE you leave and immediately need to go again the moment you start out. *Can you see the importance of bathroom locations is now central to your running plans?

(Finding one on a run is a pot of gold!!!!)

You adapt your current running clothes into maternity clothes, the compression pants are a little challenging to adapt but you have it figured out.

Compression socks become a daily accessory

You don’t need as many winter running layers, you are constantly warmer. On the flip side you wish you could run naked during the warmer seasons.  When did it get hot in Maine during March?

(Caught running in Maine in snow with shorts)

The hoots and hollers you may have gotten have turned into mouth dropping gasps.  Add in pushing a double stroller with your other two kids and you can cause mass chaos as people try to figure out why the heck you would be running, pushing and growing a human.  (This makes you feel extremely badass by the way!)

Your pace slows.  You may fight it but with the extra weight, always having to pee, need to be able to keep a conversation and utter exhaustion it’s hard to fight too hard to maintain the pace that’s your normal.

Your long run becomes increasingly shorter.  10 miles turns into 6, then you feel like an epic ultra-marathoner when you run a 5k.

(Epic run at 31 weeks pregnant; notice distance is loooonnngg and what happened to pace)

Speaking of 5ks, you now plan your race schedule around your due date.  Quickly figuring out the math.  Can I run a 5k 38 weeks pregnant? How far postpartum will I be for that race?  When can I pick up training again?  Oh 5 days after baby, yeah plenty of time ;)

You come home and immediately reward your run with an ice cream sundae.  After all baby needs those calories so you must replace them and then some, immediately. :)

(Ice cream also helps on days where you can’t get out and run yet everyone else is and you’re insanely pissed and grouchy!) 

Friday, May 9, 2014

Failure, self doubt and mediocre status...


The perfect storm for frustration in anyone's life, runner or not.  I have set out on a mission, a mission that seemed impossible and I knew was pretty impossible but I wanted it and wanted it BAD! I sort of thought in the back of my mind, I could pull it off, there was hope there.  I can no longer deny the fact that it just isn't going to happen.

I wanted to be a product tester, I wanted to write reviews.  I thought ok let's get things started, grow my media outlets, grow my readership and make it happen.  One company in particular has me day dreaming of the day I am chosen, the day I am chosen to review a product that I already love, but would LOVE to find out how in the last 10 years it has changed and became better. However, I have failed.

Blah how I HATE that word, but it is true.  It is more than the self doubt talking. Self doubt was before I started trying.  It was the voice that told me it was impossible but you see I had hope.  I had hope I could some how pull it off.  I tried, I did everything I could but here is the thing, here is where I am flawed.  I am mediocre.

I am a mediocre runner.  I won't ever be elite.  I won't win races, BQ, or run anywhere close to a phenomenal pace.  I do not look like a runner.  In a line up of 100 people I would never be picked out as the runner.  In fact, I am pretty sure when people find out I run, they don't believe me based on how I look.  I do not have this amazing, overcoming obstacles, holy shit running story.  I have a mediocre one.  No media source or magazine is going to contact me to get my story out there.  It's nothing special, it doesn't resonate with the masses.  I can't even blog in a way that attracts readers.  I have 3 followers and get 10 page views at most.

It is hard letting go. (Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore.... seriously, tell me you didn't start immediately singing that as well). For a year now I have dreamed of the day where I would be accepted into this running world in the sense of being able to have fun with running gear and products.  Well, today is the day.  I am climbing out of my tower, no I am kidding I am not Repunzel either, ha!  Today is the day I am letting go of my dreams.  I am accepting the fact that once again in my life I am mediocre and nothing special.
What does this mean?  It means my efforts to grow my social media pages is gone.  I do not care about the numbers anymore.  I am not popular enough to attract the attention of big running companies and I no longer care if my following decreases.  Here is what I am going to do instead.

I am going to ROCK THE HELL out of my mediocre status and inspire the people that have stuck with me from the beginning.  Because this former fat girl, mama and runner can encourage, cheer and be there for the people who have been there for me.  I no longer care about fitting in with the in crowd.  I am going to make my own!!!!

And if my 3 followers want to start a collection for a donation to the Crazy Mama Runner stroller fund I wouldn't be all that upset... After all I think it is going to be easier to get 500 strangers to each donate $1 than to get BOB Strollers to see me as an athlete and let me do a review ;)