I've been feeling off lately and well in my running world the word failure keeps creeping in. My body is changing, my running is changing and while it's all for the best and I'm super happy about it I also feel really down and out and well not me. I'm losing a piece of who I am while I'm growing someone else. I am struging with the fact that after just starting to call myself a runner I now feel like a fraud and like I'm well not anymore. I busted my ass to get to where I was mentally and physically and it's really hard to sit back and have it change so quickly again in the opposite direction. I WANT to go out and run 6 miles yet I just can NOT do it right now. And accepting that is hard. Super hard. So I've been absent and I've been surface living, afraid to dig deep and see what I may find.
Anyway, I digress. I need to come back and I need to write in order to go for something I never thought I would have a chance at. In fact, the chance is nearly impossible and highly unlikely but I'm going for it anyway. Why? Because, a chance is a chance and always needs to be taken in order to actually maybe achieve it.
So here I am. I'm back and probably not making much sense. My thoughts are all jumbled as I sort through my feelings. So I leave you with this.
As I fought all day with myself about what I was going to write tonight. What would be good? What would my readers (who are yet to appear) want? I used all sorts of avoiding tactics, laundry, kids, yoga and even concocting energy bites in order to try to get some sort of food in me. (Sugar Plum hates when I eat lately and I pay for it so I've been living on smoothies and breakfast alone). I decided that those energy bites were actually very tasty and fun to make with the kids. So why not start there. I hope you enjoy them, or try them. They were so easy and a huge hit with my two year old who fought Crazy Daddy off for the last one.
Five ingredients is all you need:
2/3 cups of nut butter (we used sun butter)
2 tablespoons of honey
1 1/2 plus 2 tablespoons of old fashioned oats
1/4 cup of milled flax seed
1/4 cup of mini chocolate chips
(I also threw in a dash of salt and a dash of cinnamon)
Melt nut butter and honey in microwave in 10 second increments until melted. Stirring between each 10 second time. Mix oats, flax seed and chocolate chips in a bowl. (Add salt and cinnamon if you want) Pour in melted nut butter and mix together. Roll into balls. Store in an air tight container. Easy simple and oh so yummy!!!!
You can fool around with more or less oats or adding coconut or whatever. It's fun!
Let me know if you give it a try! 
You, Missy!!!!! You're a runner & you have been inspiring me since I started! I love your FB page & I'm so glad you became an IR4 runner & now have a buddy.
ReplyDeleteInternalize your thoughts as if you were outputting them to someone else. Like... read your post as if *I* wrote it. What would you say to ME? Would you tell me that I'm a failure? Would you say that I'm not a runner?
You KNOW the answer is NO. You're NOT a failure, you're just at a different point in your journey right now than you were before. Life (and running) I'm learning is NOT an uphill all-for-wonders journey. It's a CRAZYYYYY roller coaster ride. So what if you're feeling down??? There's no other way to get to the UP point if you don't deal with the icky downs.
Hugs to you and high 5's for piping back up on the writing you've put off for a while. (PS I only never read your blog cause I didn't know about it. If you post when you make a blog-post, I'll def read them!)
I some how never knew you even had a blog.. how long ago was it that you last blogged? Aren't you pregnant girl!!! You obviously are going to slow down. I know when I was pregnant with my son it was extremely hard to stop running. You ran a lot father along in your pregnancy than I did in mine. I felt like I had lost a part of me. It was a very weird feeling.
ReplyDeleteThose energy bites look easy enough for my son to make. and I even have all the ingredients! Score! Hang in there mama! If you need to talk or anything you can email me at onemotherofaday@gmail.com or find me on FB !! Take care!
Yeay!! So nice to see you writing again!! Don't be so hard on yourself... you are not a failure... You are growing a little life inside you! I have a friend who ran all throughout pregnancy, and she wished she had stopped because in the end, it caused some more issues that could have been avoided if she hadn't pushed the running so much. You need to do what is right for YOU and your baby! You can still write, and share your journey, and before you know it, you'll be back on the road again!!! You are an inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteI love the energy bites... I've seen a few different versions of these, and they are all so yummy!!! Love the pictures :)
Growing a baby is hard work!Take it easy, but try not to stop activity all together like I did. I did great until 6months pregnant with number two and then I quit running. I should have kept going, now at 12 m pp. I am having a hard time getting back into it.
ReplyDeleteI'm super excited to try and make these energy balls!! They sound and LOOK, fabulous!! :) Thank you for sharing!!
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