Is the time right?

Is it ever right?  Is timing ever perfect?  Will there be a point in time that everything that you want will be presented in a way that you KNOW the timing is actually PERFECT?  For me, personally I am going to go with, no.  There never is a perfect time.  Never a perfect time to start a family, make a career change, move across country, or start training for a dream.

I haven't always had a dream to run 26.2.  I haven't always been a runner either.  There was a point in time that I couldn't even run the .15 miles to the end of my street.  There was a point in time where a 5k left me completely sore, exhausted and doubting myself.  There was a point in time where 7 miles was a long run and the pride I had when completing it had me skipping home to tell my husband how awesome I was.  I have learned that I can and DO believe in myself.  I am learning to love myself and I love giving myself these challenges.  I knew in 2013 I wanted to run a marathon.  I wanted to try, I wanted to see if I could do it.  I signed up, I got pumped up for it and then I got pregnant.  Without my husband really even needing to point out the obvious I KNEW that running Maine Coast in 2014 was NOT going to happen.  The timing was not right.  For me, being new to those distances running 26.2 miles at 35 weeks pregnant was really not going to happen.  So I put it on hold.

Now, I am revisiting that goal.  I have a chance to run Maine Coast this May.  I am currently half way through training for it.  I know now more than ever it is something that I want to do for ME.  Is it easy? NOPE.  The winter training in Maine has thrown me for a loop. Being a mom to three is hard enough without letting myself remember to take care of ME too.  I whine, probably too much, yet I do not regret one single run.

It is all a balancing act right now.  I am learning how to balance ME and the kids.  Sure, the house has seen better days, and I cringe when I open the door when I come home from a run but it IS OK to let it go.  Yes, the kids get Saturday morning time with Daddy and not Mommy right now.  But I am with the every single day, running late at night when they go to bed during the week and leaving before they get up on Saturday morning.  I am not a fast runner at all but I finish up as soon as I can to get right back home to them.  Do I feel guilt about taking time away from them? Honestly, no.  And that may be me being selfish but I really need the time to find myself.  Being a mom to three is hard and if I didn't give myself an outlet, the time I did spend wouldn't be me being the best me I can be.

I am learning to balance, I am learning to take in criticism about being a mom to kids who are so young and taking the time out of their lives to train.  I KNOW that life is short, I KNOW that they need me.  I KNOW that they deserve everything and all of me.  But would it be better if they were older?  Could the timing for this be better?  Is it worth it to take the time from them now, or ever?  I don't know.  Whether they are 8 months or 18 they are still going to need me.  Am I taking time FROM them?  What about me?  What about who I am as an individual not as a mom.  If I wait is that actually helping them?  Is it teaching them to put their life and their dreams on hold for others?  Is that what I want to teach them?  Why isn't it OK to be a little selfish?  Why do I have to give everything I am to others?  Do I want them to do that too?  I don't think so.  I want them to LIVE, to LOVE and to BE themselves.  I want them to set goals and achieve them.  I want them to learn how to fight for something and to stick with it.  Not give up because life got too hard to juggle.  I want them to find something that they are passionate about. Something that they love and need and crave. And I want them to GO FOR IT.  And yes, I will be there, I will be there cheering them on and holding their hand.  JUST like they are doing for me.  I am showing them what it looks like to make small sacrifices and big goals.  I am showing them that you can do things if you believe you can.  I am showing them that whining and complaining is all good as long as you still love what you are doing just do it.

I don't know if it would ever be an "easier" time for me to train.  If the kids were older then they would have their activities on the calendar to contend with.  If I were older would I be able to do that or what other things like jobs, or aging parents, or grand kids take the place of my current time obstacles.

Is the time ever right?  You tell me.  What has gotten in the "way" of your goals?  Made your plans of accomplishing it harder?  How do you cope with life and training?