Friday Five!!! Let's talk about food.

This Friday (yay really thank goodness Friday is here!!!!!), I was hesitant to link up with the DC Trifecta of You Signed Up for What?!, Mar on the Run and Eat Pray Run DC to talk about Five Favorite Spring time Foods.  Why?! Well, because I am not the best cook or meal planner.  My family is not all organic, paleo, vegan or any of the other hot topic food lifestyles.  We eat what is best for us and I cook it the best that I can.  With that being said, I wasn't going to write this Friday until sitting home with sick kid #2 while baby was napping I realized I do actually have something to write about.

Let's talk about boobs food.  Baby food or well more specifically breast feeding a baby.  Breastfeeding a baby in particular while training for a marathon.  While I was pregnant I wrote a few posts on running pregnant and "how to" do it.  I am by no means a doctor, a nurse, a lactation consultant or a medical professional in anyway.  I am just a mom, a runner and a breastfeeder.  I am not backed by any studies just what I have personally experienced.  Running while pregnant means you change up your training, your routes, your pace.  But having the baby and getting right back to where you are is not likely going to happen.  It took you 9 months to grow that baby, give your body time to get back ESPECIALLY if you are breastfeeding.  By breastfeeding your precious little energy sucker  bundle of joy your body is still not your own.  You are your babies nourishment and comfort.  Your body is producing food for your baby holding on to certain pregnancy hormones and trying to find a balance.  Running while doing this is EXTRA.  Your body is supporting the baby first, then you and then with that is left running.  So be kind to yourself, don't push yourself too hard or punish yourself when you feel like you aren't getting your pace and endurance back.

Here are my 5 tips for running and breastfeeding.

1) Hydration/Nutrition/Sleep: You have a new baby, you are training, YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN and you will constantly be hungry.  Your body produces milk by taking the energy you put into it.  It is important to make sure that the calories you burn by running are replaced.  Getting adequate quantities of good fat, high protein food is important to keep your milk supply up while you train.  I feel like I am constantly eating.  Like starving all.the.time!!!! Almonds are my go to and ice cream is my staple night time snack ;) Hydration though is KEY! Drink DRINK DRIIINKKK (and no I am not frat party chanting).  Breast Milk is mostly made up of water.  Your body needs the water. Drink the water! Sleep yeah right, you won't.  But trying to is important.  This one I have yet to figure out since I run when the baby naps or late at night but one day I will sleep again I am sure ;)

2) Pumping/Nursing/Timing: Ahhh the timing of when to go out for a run, or to pump for it.  It is a constant battle of juggling.  I usually am always dressed and ready for a run since my running clothes are most comfortable.  I never know when the opportunity to run will present itself.  Usually, I run at night after I have put the baby to bed (for the first time).  Or I run during nap time if someone else is home.  But I always plan it so I can nurse the baby right before I go.  I either nurse and then transfer a sleeping baby, or nurse and then hand the baby off to Daddy to rock while I run.  This helps in two ways.  The first, it means you have the most time out there.  Usually at least an hour before you will have to nurse again (hello cluster feeding!).  Making the most of that time between sessions but it also means that you will have drained your milk making it as comfortable for you as possible too.  If I leave in the morning before the baby wakes I make sure to pump completely before I go.  Leaving enough milk for the baby to get what she needs and also again draining as much as I can for comfort. Hand pumps are great to have with you on race day too.  Often times you have to be there so early that it will allow you to pump right before you run if baby isn't there to feed.

3) Sports Bras: You need support.  In so many many different babies when you are trying to be a new mom, feed a baby and train for a race.  However, you literally need THE support.  Your boobs will be heavy and MUCH larger.  Especially, at first.  They are going to hurt and be uncomfortable but if you have a good supportive sports bra or TWO then it makes it much easier.  I have found that when I was training for my first half right after #2 was born that I had to run in THREE, yes THREE bras.  It was hot and a tad uncomfortable but it was what worked.  Coming into the finish line after my first 13.1 miles completely soaked from the never ending rain and exhausted made getting those three bras OFF as I was handed my medal and a baby who needed to nurse a tad tricky.  After, that fiasco I found Moving Comfort.  Not only do I only run in one bra now (and have the entire 9 months of nursing baby #3) but they clasp in the back making taking them off easier AND the straps actually are adjustable by amazing Velcro so it is possible to just take one side down and nurse a baby whether I am coming in from a training run or ending a race.

4) Routes: Routes will be important to plan.  Either for the ease of getting to (like right out your front door), so you can get right to running and not spending all of your precious time between nursing sessions traveling to your running route.  OR so that it will be easy and some what quick for you to come home if you are needed.  Babies eat on a schedule for the most part around 12 weeks BUT they can always throw a wrench in the mix and wake up early and be STARVING.  More than once I have been called home from a run to nurse a baby.  Sometimes I nurse the babe and then head right back out and sometimes I just call it a day.  I never know if my run will be a mile or 5 miles.

5) Flexibility: Just like when I was pregnant, it is not ME dictating my runs.  My body doesn't really belong to me during pregnancy or breastfeeding.  It is used as a source for nutrition and growth for my little miracle.  Which means I need to keep an open mind with planning my training or hitting the road.  My 10 mile run may have a phone call at mile 2 alerting me to a hungry baby.  Or my 1 mile me time may turn into a 5 mile vacation when the baby decides an extra long nap is good. I may only have time for 3 training runs that week not 4.  If you can roll with the punches, adapt to whatever schedule your baby puts you on for that day then you will find it easier to stay on top of your running.  Not expecting too much makes for an absolute thrilling feeling when you realize you can do more. :)

So here is the deal.  Can you train and breastfeed?  Of course if it is what YOU want.  If your baby is thriving, your supply is keeping up and you are happy then go for it!

What are some tips for breastfeeding and running that YOU have?  

Week 11 ~ $h!T$ GETTING REAL

Oh wow, time seems to be flying (the opposite of my pace, especially lately). Like really flying.  I just completed the 11th week of my 18 week training plan.  Did I hit all the scheduled runs? NOPE.  I was in a sort of funk after taking the recovery time and to be honest this run in anything Mainah just didn't feel like getting out there that much in this unfair cold start to spring? Really?  It is spring?  Because the 40 mph winds and the single digit temperatures are doing a fabulous job at hiding the turn of seasons.  But this week there was a major break through in more than one way.  Although I didn't hit all the scheduled miles, I did attempt AND complete the 16 miler.  I overcame some SEVERE mental challenges and I was completely and utterly OK having "failed" my training this week.

Marathon Training Week 11:

The Miles:

Sunday ~ 3 miles (run TO boot camp, not my smartest idea....)
Wednesday ~ 8 mile bike
                       2 mile run (Does that mean I did brick work?!)
Friday ~ 4.6 miles (.6 was with my mini)
Saturday ~ 16, yes 16 FREAKING whole miles!

The Weather:

Cold, windy and totally not spring like. OR you can say it was LION weather as my son liked to announce every morning. "Looks like today is more lion weather mom"  Yep, no kidding when will the nice, soft, fluffy, gentle lamb be making an appearance?  This rate probably June.  Which means, suck it up buttercup, you will be running your marathon with the lions!


Routes:

Well Sunday I did some what of a new route, making small laps down all the side streets on my way to boot camp. (Yeah so not a good idea....).  Wednesday, boring gym route.  Where I got a kick out of naming all the "hamsters" around me.  Friday, I actually did a loop that I normally will only do with a buddy.  There is one road I just hate running alone it gives me an unsettled feeling of being out too far by myself but I actually found I liked this route.  Ending at the school to walk my daughter home was the highlight of that one.  (Will she ever care that I pick her up all sweaty and wearing spandex?  Probably but no signs of that yet.  So far only her Dad has embarrassed her.) Which leaves me with Saturday's route.  Honestly, no freakin clue where I went, I just went.  This way and that way.  Over here and over there.  This road again? Sure why not.  Until I heard the glorious sound of the Runkeepr App voice announce 16 miles were done.  What the heck who am I kidding.  The last 6 miles were pretty tough and I was watching that app like a hawk counting down each and every 1/10 of a mile.

Gear:

No actual PHYSICAL gear was added.  However, boot camp and brick workouts were.  I have decided to really up my game strength training wise.  I need the extra help breaking mental barriers and the strength to just keep going when I just want to quit.  I didn't even get to use any of my "spring" attire.  I am still out there all bundled up in layers.  The foam roller too is making many appearances.

Lessons Learned:

Oh boy!  What don't you learn from running?  This was the week when things got real.  I had to let go of nailing every run, every mile.  I had to accept that I didn't or couldn't do it all.  For me, that is a hard truth to swallow.  When I do something, I DO it.  ALL of it, every last bit of it.  This time, with this training and this goal I am learning that I CAN"T.  Yep, I can NOT do it all.  All I can do is my very best and I think for me that learning the lesson that letting a run go, or a mile go, or cross training with the bike does NOT mean I am failing.  It means, I am growing.  I am growing as a runner and I am growing more love for myself.  I am listening to my body, adapting my plan as I go for the needs I have at the moment.  This is a dream for me and it is not made up by the number of miles I can churn out but by the lessons I learn along the way that grow me into who I want to become.  Speaking of adapting, at the end of this week I took my training calendar off the wall and I

changed it.  Yep, I CHANGED it up.  I CHANGED my plan.  It is basically the same plan but it is now a plan that will hopefully work better for me and help me reach my goal of finishing a marathon.  I know my time will not be the greatest, or even good in most people's books.  I won't look all fancy out there BUT I have learned that I need to change things for ME and embrace what I can do with what I am giving.  Being a mom to three means my "me" time is limited.  With this training schedule I miss my husband and my kids and the family time.  By tweaking my plan just a little I am hoping that I can fit it all in and find myself being able to squeeze in more of the lazy unpredictable family time.  Oh and the biggest lesson I learned this week?  I CAN! I can put one foot in front of the other.  I can cry and breakdown and keep going.  I can force the voice in my head to be WRONG.  I CAN KEEP GOING! I can be proud yet battered and bad ass yet weak.

Oh and also NEVER EVER EVER run to boot camp UNLESS you know for sure you can find a ride home ;)

Have YOU ever changed a training plan in the middle?  Do you think it can help?

Week 10? Maybe?

The weeks are starting to blend into each other and I am believe it or not losing track?  How is that
even possible?  I do believe that I just finished up week 10 though and did so on mostly rest.  Having a foot problem and being somewhat injured had me sidelined after last weeks 10 miler.




Marathon Training Week 10:

The Miles:

Wednesday ~ 3 mile WALK
Friday ~ 8 mile BIKE
Saturday ~ 8 mile RUN

The Weather:

Oh my gosh the weather was NOT even fair!!!! I wanted to throw a big ole tantrum about the weather all week.  After getting out there in ice, snow, rain, blizzards, double digit wind chills and

temperatures ALL damn winter long, this weeks little spring tease was absolute torture not to run in.  I mean TORTURE!!! I live in town and because of that my road is a route that is used a lot for runners and walkers.  Watching all the fair weather runners running with HUGE grins on their face in the warm sunshine was almost enough to completely drive me over the edge. Almost, I mean I was happy for THEM, happy they were out and moving BUT I wanted to be out running too damn it!!!!

Routes:

Well the bike route was boring gym views and I tried to watch TV but I really wasn't interested at all in the show on in front of me.  Some TLC show about virgins I think?  But I just kept my head down
and got it done as fast as I could, focusing on my pretty new kicks! When I did get out for Wednesday's walk it was just around the neighborhood, dropping my daughter at school and then meandering around until putting breakfast off for the other two was no longer an option.

Gear:

Bike.  Yep I went to the gym and I biked.  It is MUCH harder than I thought it was going to be.  I grew bored by mile 3 (12 minutes in?).  And WOWZA was I sore the next day, sitting was something I did only if I absolutely had too and I did so ever so gently.  I have decided that I am going to replace one run a week for the bike though.  It was a great way to stay moving and give some of my running muscles a bit of a break.  Cross training IT IS IMPORTANT!!!!! Foam Roller, really enough said.  I used it and I used it alot.  I tried for three times a day or more.  I discovered that I really do need to stretch before and after and roll roll roll.  I can't just go out and pound out the miles and then not take care of my muscles for treating them that way.

Lessons Learned:

 Rest is important.  Rest is needed.  It is OK to not run every single mile you have listed out in your training plan.  It was hard for me to watch the week go by and the miles go along with it.  I didn't get to put little hearts around the mile # this week indicating that I completed them.  But I learned that
really truly listening to your body is the way to go.  My foot is absolutely fine now and I think I avoided a major problem by giving myself that week off.

Honey Do you Need a Ride?

One night on Facebook, I stumbled upon something pretty awesome.  A book club, a virtual book club.  A book club that was going to read running books.  Hell ya I was interested, I was hooked actually.  I am so extremely excited that Wendy from Taking the Long Way Home had this genius idea.  We are doing a Book Club/Blog link up where we review each of the books.  I was excited and I dived right into the first book, Honey Do You Need A Ride? Confessions of a FAT Runner by Jennifer Graham.

From page one, I was into it.  The author has a great way of making it seem like she is actually talking to you, getting you to think about things and several times I found myself actually responding out loud.  Head shakes, hmmmm mmmm, and WHAT?!.  Those were my top responses throughout the whole book.  I found myself, cheering for her, sort of hating her and waiting and wanting to know what the hell happened next.  There were a few times that I was super interested in what she was saying, hanging on every word and just like me she has this tendency to get side tracked and boom random and other words and thoughts were coming across the page.  I wanted to interrupt and say no no no go back, finish the other story I want to hear about what happened.  Go back in THAT direction.

Jennifer is real and witty and I found myself chuckling in truths.

"Don't get me wrong.  I love to run.  I'm good at it, and I can go on forever.  The spirit cries "gazelle." But the shadow yells "walrus." It blows me up by at least twenty pounds."

How true is this?! For me anyway so very true.  I have NEVER looked like a runner, hell I don't really even look like I work out.  You know the whole "Fitness" craze on social media? About "Fitness this whole burger, pizza, cake, pie in my mouth?  Yeah I am more along the lines of that is how I role fitness style.  Except is that the truth?  I do not know how people actually see me, only how I see myself and like Jennifer I have ALWAYS seen myself as a fat runner.  Why?  Because I am was that fat girl.  You know the nice one, the one with pretty eyes, who blends into the back ground of all the gorgeous gals out there. That fat girl never really goes away.  103 pounds lighter at my lightest (right now I am about 15 pounds shy of my lightest) and I still see that fat girl, hear that fat girl and hide that fat girl.   Here though is where I find some issues.

I have been working HARD and by hard I mean the biggest challenge I have ever faced in my life, this year.  2015 is the year I will FLY. (Finally LOVE Yourself).  Loving myself is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I AM worth it.  I need to stop seeing myself as the fat girl, the slow runner, the mediocre mom, the unorganized, poorly dressed hot mess and I need to embrace me for ME.  I need to get rid of these images that I have given myself, let them go.  I need to look at myself and see perfection.  I am perfect and absolutely wonderful.  I am perfect for ME.  This challenge has been tough and I it has been getting easier and easier until near the end of the book I realized that, the author was feeding into my self loathe.  I was starting to hate my body and the way it looked.  Hate my pace and my non runner clothes.  Especially when I learned  that Jennifer is about what I weigh.  Just a few pounds separate us, and her pace? Her pace is the same as mine too (faster right now in fact).  I put the book down and I thought.  Here is this wonderfully funny, talented author and if she thinks she is fat and slow then being about the same I must be too?

I put the book down.  I didn't want to read anymore.  I didn't like how all of the things I have been working so hard on were flooding back and making me doubt myself again.

Then, I picked the book up.  Jennifer writes so well and has a way of just capturing my attention, that I must finish.  I need to know.  I am glad I did, because in the end I realized that Jennifer is more like me than I thought.  She too does battle with that fat girl in her head.  (Because after a google image search I can assure you that she is NOT fat).  But you know what?  Just like me Jennifer is making progress towards dreams and goals.  Towards loving herself and finding happiness.  She ran around that lake, that lake symbolizes so much.  It symbolizes pride in achievement and goals and dreams and basically a big ole middle finger to anyone who thought that you couldn't.  Because YOU can.  You can run the lake, or the half marathon or you can FLY!

"I've been thinking I haven't achieved anything because I haven't lost any weight, but there it is. A sense of achievement that didn't come from my children, or my writing, or my oft-admired ability to remember birthdays.  A sense of achievement that comes from the simple fact that I run."

Overall, I highly recommend this book.  It is well written and witty and speaks to the soul.  When reading it you are not reading words but having a conversation. You are listening to a funny yet soul baring story of a woman, a mom, a runner who is learning to love herself.  Who hasn't yet shaken the fat girl in her head, but has added in some other inspiring voices of motivators with her dead running coach and beloved Dr. George Sheehan who is also deceased.   I found this comforting because I too have full blown conversations in my head and it means I am not along in this or truly crazy.

I found myself, wanting to meet Jennifer, to run with her and stand with her while cheering for the Boston runners.  I want to have ice cream with her and swap stories.  But most of all I think I want to have her take me to the place she goes for her Runner's Revenge massage.  Now, that is something that I am afraid I need :)

Oh on a side note, I found out that Jennifer too, runs in more than one sports bra and that there is actually a runner term for that: Double Bagging. (Sometimes I find myself Triple Bagging and it is terrible!) You learn something new every day!

How about YOU?  Have you read this book?  Or any other great running books that you would recommend? Want to join in on the blog book club link up?

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly ~ Week 9

*sigh* Really sighing seems to be all that I am doing lately.  I finished up week 9 of training.  Halfway through, doing great, hitting all the assigned miles.  Saturdays long run of 10 was split because of some ummmmm runner's issues that I care not to talk about, unless I am out running with you.  Then you can know but for the sake of this blog, all you need to know is I didn't get 10 I got 1.5.  That's OK because Sunday dawned and I tried again. This time getting 8.5 and making my weekend total 10.  I came home victorious, literally high fiving and fist pumping.  I was halfway done and I had just ran one of our run club members in for his first ever 5k distance.  We were all on a high.  Until 20 mins later, finished nursing a very hungry baby who waited til she saw mommy to decide she was hungry and I got up to walk.  Then there it was P A I N.  The worst kind.  Foot pain.

What the hell, I can not get injured now! I ignored it (stupid! dumb! idiot!) but that is what us runners do right?  We ignore.  I spent the day walking around trying to get donations for my daughter's upcoming raffle.  I danced with the baby. I stood for awhile and walked some more.  Noting that it was painful but not admitting to anything.  By the end of the night, I was in pain.  Enough so that the never ever taking pain meds me, took Advil.  I cried, I did some quick researching and then I talked with my hubby.  I needed to rest.  Great, yeah rest.  It's easy they say.  I didn't want to.  The next day
I talked with Mike, Mr. Run Nerd himself and want to know what he told me?  Rest.  Did these smart men not realize that after training for the last 9 weeks in the worst kind of winter weather, sub zero temps, blizzards, ice, wind chills into the -30s that SPRING would be here this week?  That our weather would be sunny and WARM.  That all the fair weather runners would come out and dot my street with their happy go lucky its spring time grins and I am out and running  in this glorious weather bouncing steps.  The birds would be chirping, MELTING would be happening.  How the hell am I supposed to NOT run with all of this going on?

*sigh* I value their opinion though. And I know that deep down, if I truly want to be able to come back quickly and pick up training so that in May I can actually have a shot at becoming a marathoner, then I needed to listen.  My head is listening, my heart however, is throwing the biggest terrible two tantrum you have ever seen.  It has been two days, TWO and I haven't run.  I am in a constant state of jealous bear like  ness.  I want to growl and hibernate and not know about all of these happy go lucky grinning, spring time bounce in my step running people that are EVERYWHERE!  I want to heal, like NOW and go out in an hour and run.  But instead week 10 is upon me and I will be biking my miles this week.  Hoping upon hope that by some miracle I am running Saturday. Saturday, the day that temps will drop back down and the forecast is snow.....

Week 9 Marathon Training:

The Miles:

Sunday ~ 4 miles
Wednesday ~ 5.5 miles
Thursday ~ 3.1 miles
Friday ~ 1.5 miles
Saturday ~ 1.5 miles
Sunday ~ 8.5 miles

The Weather: 

Winter time in Maine.  It warmed some but I still need multiple layers and am on constant ice look out.

Routes:

Same, same, same.

Gear:

Same once again

Lessons Learned:

I am sure there were some amazing and ah ha moment lessons learned.  There must have been.  After all I helped another runner reach an impossible goal.  It was amazing to watch and be a part of.  I found a twig sticking from a snow bank after it was stabbed into my knee.  I had a heart felt struggle for my mid-week long run and after some thought came to this conclusion: I am WORTH it! I actually managed to blog that lesson here.  But right now I am much to grouchy, much to sore and much to depressed to want to delve deep into my inner psyche this week and analyse what I have learned.

What do YOU do when you are recovering from an injury? 

Friday FIVE!!! A few Favorites

It is Friday and with it the glorious start of the weekend is upon us.  As is the Friday link up of course with You Signed Up for What?!, Mar on the Run, and Eat Pray Run DC.  So here it is the short, sweet and simple list.  Along with raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens these are five of my faves for this week.

What am I loving?

Happy Mail!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting mail (brown paper packages ties up with string?).  Any kind of mail, post cards, letters, packages it is all my fav.  This week has been a fun fun week of mail.  I reached out asking for donations to put towards a "get moving" basket for the raffle table at my daughters Daddy/Daughter dance coming up and I am just floored with the support! So far, I have received a Go Go Sports Doll (which may have arrived with a second one to GIVEAWAY!!!), some absolutely adorable headbands from Bondi Band (LOVE them!!! And the fact that the owner is from Maine!!!!) and the coolest socks from My Soxy Feet.  (I happened to have ordered some for myself and my Mister Mister as well and we are sporting them right now! Pure LOVE!)

Paying it Forward

Speaking of mail.  I LOVE sending it as much as I love getting it.  It thrills me to go to the Post Office to send a package that I KNOW is going to make someone smile.  This week I was able to send out a brand new pair of Newtons to a lucky gal.  Her response upon getting them was that she felt like she won the lottery.  And I LOVED being the one that made her smile that day.  It is so fun to drop unexpected happiness on random people.

Sweet Surprises

I am a romantic at heart.  I am a girl who loves a good love story or the sappy movies on TV.  This week my lovely hubby romantically surprised me TWICE! Once with a love note found on my windshield when I came out of my daughter's dance practice and a second time when he came home early with my favorite flowers AND candy in hand.  What a sweet little surprise to be cooking dinner and finding your husband standing there with a beautiful sign of spring and taste of chocolate!

Baby Games

My sweet little Sugar Plum is growing so big and she loves to tell us just how big in an adorable game of "How Big is Lulu".  Watching her and the older kids play with plenty of grins and giggles is priceless.  I love how proud they are of learning a new skill and showing off as much as possible.  Speaking of new skills she has fearlessly taken some steps this week.  Falling of course but taking them.  I really don't think it will be long before she is running along side mama too.

SUNSHINE!!!!

The sun has actually shone! YES bright and golden in the sky this week and oh my what a treat!! It actually warmed up enough to have a day of the sap running too and we were able to collect enough to have a small first boil.  Ever taste real, fresh maple syrup?  Yeah its good.  WICKED good! I am so looking forward to warmer longer days and the feel of spring on my face for some running soon!

Is the time right?

Is it ever right?  Is timing ever perfect?  Will there be a point in time that everything that you want will be presented in a way that you KNOW the timing is actually PERFECT?  For me, personally I am going to go with, no.  There never is a perfect time.  Never a perfect time to start a family, make a career change, move across country, or start training for a dream.

I haven't always had a dream to run 26.2.  I haven't always been a runner either.  There was a point in time that I couldn't even run the .15 miles to the end of my street.  There was a point in time where a 5k left me completely sore, exhausted and doubting myself.  There was a point in time where 7 miles was a long run and the pride I had when completing it had me skipping home to tell my husband how awesome I was.  I have learned that I can and DO believe in myself.  I am learning to love myself and I love giving myself these challenges.  I knew in 2013 I wanted to run a marathon.  I wanted to try, I wanted to see if I could do it.  I signed up, I got pumped up for it and then I got pregnant.  Without my husband really even needing to point out the obvious I KNEW that running Maine Coast in 2014 was NOT going to happen.  The timing was not right.  For me, being new to those distances running 26.2 miles at 35 weeks pregnant was really not going to happen.  So I put it on hold.

Now, I am revisiting that goal.  I have a chance to run Maine Coast this May.  I am currently half way through training for it.  I know now more than ever it is something that I want to do for ME.  Is it easy? NOPE.  The winter training in Maine has thrown me for a loop. Being a mom to three is hard enough without letting myself remember to take care of ME too.  I whine, probably too much, yet I do not regret one single run.

It is all a balancing act right now.  I am learning how to balance ME and the kids.  Sure, the house has seen better days, and I cringe when I open the door when I come home from a run but it IS OK to let it go.  Yes, the kids get Saturday morning time with Daddy and not Mommy right now.  But I am with the every single day, running late at night when they go to bed during the week and leaving before they get up on Saturday morning.  I am not a fast runner at all but I finish up as soon as I can to get right back home to them.  Do I feel guilt about taking time away from them? Honestly, no.  And that may be me being selfish but I really need the time to find myself.  Being a mom to three is hard and if I didn't give myself an outlet, the time I did spend wouldn't be me being the best me I can be.

I am learning to balance, I am learning to take in criticism about being a mom to kids who are so young and taking the time out of their lives to train.  I KNOW that life is short, I KNOW that they need me.  I KNOW that they deserve everything and all of me.  But would it be better if they were older?  Could the timing for this be better?  Is it worth it to take the time from them now, or ever?  I don't know.  Whether they are 8 months or 18 they are still going to need me.  Am I taking time FROM them?  What about me?  What about who I am as an individual not as a mom.  If I wait is that actually helping them?  Is it teaching them to put their life and their dreams on hold for others?  Is that what I want to teach them?  Why isn't it OK to be a little selfish?  Why do I have to give everything I am to others?  Do I want them to do that too?  I don't think so.  I want them to LIVE, to LOVE and to BE themselves.  I want them to set goals and achieve them.  I want them to learn how to fight for something and to stick with it.  Not give up because life got too hard to juggle.  I want them to find something that they are passionate about. Something that they love and need and crave. And I want them to GO FOR IT.  And yes, I will be there, I will be there cheering them on and holding their hand.  JUST like they are doing for me.  I am showing them what it looks like to make small sacrifices and big goals.  I am showing them that you can do things if you believe you can.  I am showing them that whining and complaining is all good as long as you still love what you are doing just do it.

I don't know if it would ever be an "easier" time for me to train.  If the kids were older then they would have their activities on the calendar to contend with.  If I were older would I be able to do that or what other things like jobs, or aging parents, or grand kids take the place of my current time obstacles.

Is the time ever right?  You tell me.  What has gotten in the "way" of your goals?  Made your plans of accomplishing it harder?  How do you cope with life and training?  

Marathon Monday and I dropped the ball

It's Marathon Monday and I totally dropped the ball.  I forgot to get this weeks feature set up, I wish I had.  I look forward to reading them so much! Looks like, I may be in over my head just a bit around here.  Marathon training, three kids, a house, babysitting and recently added head of the Father/Daughter Dance committee and it will be awhile before I get a breather.  But I can do it right?
Of course I can! I can do anything, I believe in.  Which I am proving as training ramps up.  Speaking of training week 8 is in the books, ran, learned from and moving forward.  What a bizarre week.  I thought I was going to OWN it, it was going to just be a breeze but I was wrong.  And since my long run from week 7 was on a Sunday I put down some serious (37.5 to be exact) miles this week.

Marathon Training Week 8:

The Miles:

Tuesday ~ 3.1
Wednesday ~ 6
Friday ~ 2
Saturday ~ 14

The Weather:

Can't even begin to remember.  It is pretty much just more and more of the same.  I am really hoping signs of spring are around the corner!

Routes:

Same old same old.  Treadmill boringness and little back and forth and around and around loops where it is safe enough to run.  While the hills are mentally making me want to vomit, I know it is some of the best training I can get.

Gear:

Other than the minimalist shoes that I should NEVER have tried to run in, nothing new was added this week.  I revisited the Honey Stinger and really liked them!  My mom did make me some homemade face balm for running in the cold and wind and I really enjoyed the scent of the lemon essential oil she added.  Also, I made some homemade deodorant that I tested this week.  It worked pretty well and I will probably stick with it!

Lessons Learned:

My biggest lesson was DON'T be an idiot, train smart.  I was stupid on my 6 miler Wednesday.  I headed to the gym but forgot my sneakers.  So when I dropped the kids off I borrowed my moms.  Problem?  They were minimalist shoes.  VERY minimal.  So, instead of maybe walking, or using an elliptical I just went for it.  Pounded out 6 miles.  And while I was at it, bothered my shins.  Seriously, not my smartest idea.  Lesson two?  Don't be STUBBORN.  Me? Stubborn? Never! Except, I am.  Very much so.  I had 3 miles to do Friday, so I laced up and headed out.  My shins started bothering me right away.  A 1/2 mile in I knew I wasn't going to make all three.  But I kept going, hobbling through and walking some.  I managed to get 2 in.  I shouldn't have.  I should have bailed at the 1/2 mile marker and just let those miles go.  But in my head they were ON the calendar they HAD to be done.  Luckily, the mistakes of being an idiot and stubborn didn't get in the way of my long run and I was able to get a 14 miler in at marathon pace.  

Have YOU ever pushed through when you really knew it would be better to stop?