For so many people running is more than just running, it is more than a form of staying fit. More than lacing up and hitting the pavement. More than the feeling of accomplishment for PRing. More than any medal. Running goes deeper than. Running can help heal. It can help overcome. It can help you forget yet discover at the same time. This week our Marathon Monday is brought to us by Elizabeth over at Sweet Tea and Cupcakes . She is joining us today and is open and vulnerable. Sharing her reason for running.
This will be a very vulnerable post but I think it's time to let people know my story. Hopefully I can help someone who may be going through this same thing.
When I was 19, I met a guy. He was great. We ended up dating for a few months before I moved out of my parents house. He would come over and hang out like typical dating couples would do.
One day I was having a rough day so he offered me a Xanex. This became an everyday thing. I couldn't go a day without some kind of pill. Half the time I didn't even know what I was taking. I just wanted to shut out the world.
One night we got into a huge fight and he left. I was pretty upset so I found some of his pills and took one, just to calm down. About an hour after a friend of his came over claiming to be looking for him. I told he wasn't there but he claimed he didn't want me being there alone. So of course I let him in. He was a friend of course, right. By then that first pill was wearing off, so I went to get another.
That's when this "friend" pulled out a bottle of pills and said they would be better. So I stupidly took one. I still don't know what it was. He waited till that one kicked in then did something to me no one should ever have to go through. Something so bad I can't even type the word. As a result of that, I suffer with ptsd. I still have nightmares about it.
However, when I run, I forget all of that. I forget the pain. I forget the panic. It's just me and the road and my music. I have gotten help for my ptsd. I haven't taken any pills since, other than when I had my kids and that was only when needed. I have found myself again.
Ten years to the date I ran my fifth half marathon. On March 7th I will run my first full marathon.
I am in charge of me. Not a diagnoses. Not an addiction. I am. And that's how it will stay.
Elizabeth is just a few weeks off from becoming a MARATHONER!!! If we could visit her Facebook page Sweet Tea and Cupcakes and offer some encouragement I am sure she would appreciate is :)
Does running mean MORE to you than just fitness?
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