Is the time right?

Is it ever right?  Is timing ever perfect?  Will there be a point in time that everything that you want will be presented in a way that you KNOW the timing is actually PERFECT?  For me, personally I am going to go with, no.  There never is a perfect time.  Never a perfect time to start a family, make a career change, move across country, or start training for a dream.

I haven't always had a dream to run 26.2.  I haven't always been a runner either.  There was a point in time that I couldn't even run the .15 miles to the end of my street.  There was a point in time where a 5k left me completely sore, exhausted and doubting myself.  There was a point in time where 7 miles was a long run and the pride I had when completing it had me skipping home to tell my husband how awesome I was.  I have learned that I can and DO believe in myself.  I am learning to love myself and I love giving myself these challenges.  I knew in 2013 I wanted to run a marathon.  I wanted to try, I wanted to see if I could do it.  I signed up, I got pumped up for it and then I got pregnant.  Without my husband really even needing to point out the obvious I KNEW that running Maine Coast in 2014 was NOT going to happen.  The timing was not right.  For me, being new to those distances running 26.2 miles at 35 weeks pregnant was really not going to happen.  So I put it on hold.

Now, I am revisiting that goal.  I have a chance to run Maine Coast this May.  I am currently half way through training for it.  I know now more than ever it is something that I want to do for ME.  Is it easy? NOPE.  The winter training in Maine has thrown me for a loop. Being a mom to three is hard enough without letting myself remember to take care of ME too.  I whine, probably too much, yet I do not regret one single run.

It is all a balancing act right now.  I am learning how to balance ME and the kids.  Sure, the house has seen better days, and I cringe when I open the door when I come home from a run but it IS OK to let it go.  Yes, the kids get Saturday morning time with Daddy and not Mommy right now.  But I am with the every single day, running late at night when they go to bed during the week and leaving before they get up on Saturday morning.  I am not a fast runner at all but I finish up as soon as I can to get right back home to them.  Do I feel guilt about taking time away from them? Honestly, no.  And that may be me being selfish but I really need the time to find myself.  Being a mom to three is hard and if I didn't give myself an outlet, the time I did spend wouldn't be me being the best me I can be.

I am learning to balance, I am learning to take in criticism about being a mom to kids who are so young and taking the time out of their lives to train.  I KNOW that life is short, I KNOW that they need me.  I KNOW that they deserve everything and all of me.  But would it be better if they were older?  Could the timing for this be better?  Is it worth it to take the time from them now, or ever?  I don't know.  Whether they are 8 months or 18 they are still going to need me.  Am I taking time FROM them?  What about me?  What about who I am as an individual not as a mom.  If I wait is that actually helping them?  Is it teaching them to put their life and their dreams on hold for others?  Is that what I want to teach them?  Why isn't it OK to be a little selfish?  Why do I have to give everything I am to others?  Do I want them to do that too?  I don't think so.  I want them to LIVE, to LOVE and to BE themselves.  I want them to set goals and achieve them.  I want them to learn how to fight for something and to stick with it.  Not give up because life got too hard to juggle.  I want them to find something that they are passionate about. Something that they love and need and crave. And I want them to GO FOR IT.  And yes, I will be there, I will be there cheering them on and holding their hand.  JUST like they are doing for me.  I am showing them what it looks like to make small sacrifices and big goals.  I am showing them that you can do things if you believe you can.  I am showing them that whining and complaining is all good as long as you still love what you are doing just do it.

I don't know if it would ever be an "easier" time for me to train.  If the kids were older then they would have their activities on the calendar to contend with.  If I were older would I be able to do that or what other things like jobs, or aging parents, or grand kids take the place of my current time obstacles.

Is the time ever right?  You tell me.  What has gotten in the "way" of your goals?  Made your plans of accomplishing it harder?  How do you cope with life and training?  

Marathon Monday and I dropped the ball

It's Marathon Monday and I totally dropped the ball.  I forgot to get this weeks feature set up, I wish I had.  I look forward to reading them so much! Looks like, I may be in over my head just a bit around here.  Marathon training, three kids, a house, babysitting and recently added head of the Father/Daughter Dance committee and it will be awhile before I get a breather.  But I can do it right?
Of course I can! I can do anything, I believe in.  Which I am proving as training ramps up.  Speaking of training week 8 is in the books, ran, learned from and moving forward.  What a bizarre week.  I thought I was going to OWN it, it was going to just be a breeze but I was wrong.  And since my long run from week 7 was on a Sunday I put down some serious (37.5 to be exact) miles this week.

Marathon Training Week 8:

The Miles:

Tuesday ~ 3.1
Wednesday ~ 6
Friday ~ 2
Saturday ~ 14

The Weather:

Can't even begin to remember.  It is pretty much just more and more of the same.  I am really hoping signs of spring are around the corner!

Routes:

Same old same old.  Treadmill boringness and little back and forth and around and around loops where it is safe enough to run.  While the hills are mentally making me want to vomit, I know it is some of the best training I can get.

Gear:

Other than the minimalist shoes that I should NEVER have tried to run in, nothing new was added this week.  I revisited the Honey Stinger and really liked them!  My mom did make me some homemade face balm for running in the cold and wind and I really enjoyed the scent of the lemon essential oil she added.  Also, I made some homemade deodorant that I tested this week.  It worked pretty well and I will probably stick with it!

Lessons Learned:

My biggest lesson was DON'T be an idiot, train smart.  I was stupid on my 6 miler Wednesday.  I headed to the gym but forgot my sneakers.  So when I dropped the kids off I borrowed my moms.  Problem?  They were minimalist shoes.  VERY minimal.  So, instead of maybe walking, or using an elliptical I just went for it.  Pounded out 6 miles.  And while I was at it, bothered my shins.  Seriously, not my smartest idea.  Lesson two?  Don't be STUBBORN.  Me? Stubborn? Never! Except, I am.  Very much so.  I had 3 miles to do Friday, so I laced up and headed out.  My shins started bothering me right away.  A 1/2 mile in I knew I wasn't going to make all three.  But I kept going, hobbling through and walking some.  I managed to get 2 in.  I shouldn't have.  I should have bailed at the 1/2 mile marker and just let those miles go.  But in my head they were ON the calendar they HAD to be done.  Luckily, the mistakes of being an idiot and stubborn didn't get in the way of my long run and I was able to get a 14 miler in at marathon pace.  

Have YOU ever pushed through when you really knew it would be better to stop? 

Week 7 in the books!

This week brought alot to my plate.  The mileage is really starting to step up and I am going into unknown territory very soon! I had a lot of firsts this week, including shutting a treadmill down by running for over an HOUR on it and fueling with Honey Stingers before and during my long run.  I
also had a lot of stresses this week in addition to trying to fit in some run times and weather problems.  My daughter was diagnosed with asthma, my son had xrays to check on a possible enlarged heart and the baby is still not double her birth weight so we need to talk supplements.  But run I did and I nailed each and every scheduled mile, mostly because I NEEDED an outlet and a little because I am stubborn and skipping a run would, in my mind, be failing the training week.

Marathon Training Week 7:

The Miles:

Tuesday ~ 6.2
Wednesday ~ 3.14
Friday ~ 3.13
Sunday ~ 12.2

The Weather:

Cold yet then a HEATWAVE came through!!!! My Saturday morning long run was -20 degrees at

the start time so we postponed it.  Glad we did because 24 hours later it was FIFTY degrees warmer!!!!  Sunday was GORGEOUS and WARM.  Those 12 miles were a blessing to be out in nice weather!!!

Routes:

Two runs on the treadmill, which was BORING but DONE! And then the outside routes were where ever I could go that was safe and as snow free as possible.  Guess what?  The only roads like this or that were not high traffic roads were the HILL routes.  Yeah I just ate them up and chalked it up to perfect training for the Maine Coast course.

Gear:

Treadmill, new fuel choices and a FITBIT!!!!! The Hubs bought me a FitBit for Valentine's Day and
it has been interesting to see my steps on days I run vs days I don't and of course my sleep pattern.The treadmill I need to find balance with.  I have it in my mind I can't run over a 10 min mile on that thing and I am messing with my mental state.  I think I need to FORCE myself into running a 34 min 5k on it and let it BE OK!!!! Fuel, I added some Honey Stinger chews and gels in.  They were not that bad and I will be trying them again next week :)



Lessons Learned:


Oh wow, this was a learning week. I learned that I am capable of outrunning a treadmill.  I tested this out with my midweek 6 miler.  I finished my 6 miles before an hour but barely and because I had always heard after an hour the machine would shut off I had to test it of course! 6.2 miles later and I had the biggest treadmill high ever! Causing me to walk into the men's locker room to boot!!! EMBARRASSING! I learned that runners will do whatever they NEED to do while out on a run.  I was 5 miles into my 12 miler when I just really really REALLY had to pee.  Normally this Maine gal would think nothing about finding a tree.  Yet we have about 5 feet of snow on the ground and 8 foot

snow banks to climb to even get into the woods.  Yeah that wasn't happening.  Instead, I managed to remember that I was running on Sunday, I was near a church, the door would be open.... Yeah I totally slipped into the Church in all my running gear glory and found a bathroom to use.  To make matters worse as if I wasn't embarrassed enough, my RunKeeper app went off at full volume while I
was in there. So I learned to pause that thing if I ever need to do that again ;) What a memorable run that will be! Memorable not only for the Church pit stop, or the use of fuel for the first time ever through out a run but also because it ended with some very VERY VERRRRRRY unfortunate chaffing.  Ummmm yea apparently those pants have a seam that I wasn't really aware of.  Being frozen I didn't feel any problem until my shower... Oh and speaking of showers I think I have finally figured out water temperature after a long winter run!! It's an ease into the spray method, hands and feet first, increase warm water then legs and arms, final increase of hot water then rest of my body :)

Have you ever just done something while running that caused some red cheeks?

Marathon Monday ~ Elizabeth

For so many people running is more than just running, it is more than a form of staying fit.  More than lacing up and hitting the pavement.  More than the feeling of accomplishment for PRing.  More than any medal.  Running goes deeper than.  Running can help heal.  It can help overcome.  It can help you forget yet discover at the same time.  This week our Marathon Monday is brought to us by Elizabeth over at Sweet Tea and Cupcakes .  She is joining us today and is open and vulnerable. Sharing her reason for running.  

This will be a very vulnerable post but I think it's time to let people know my story.  Hopefully I can help someone who may be going through this same thing. 

When I was 19, I met a guy. He was great. We ended up dating for a few months before I moved out of my parents house. He would come over and hang out like typical dating couples would do. 

One day I was having a rough day so he offered me a Xanex. This became an everyday thing. I couldn't go a day without some kind of pill. Half the time I didn't even know what I was taking. I just wanted to shut out the world. 

One night we got into a huge fight and he left. I was pretty upset so I found some of his pills and took one, just to calm down.  About an hour after a friend of his came over claiming to be looking for him. I told he wasn't there but he claimed he didn't want me being there alone. So of course I let him in. He was a friend of course, right. By then that first pill was wearing off, so I went to get another. 

That's when this "friend" pulled out a bottle of pills and said they would be better. So I stupidly took one. I still don't know what it was. He waited till that one kicked in then did something to me no one should ever have to go through. Something so bad I can't even type the word. As a result of that, I suffer with ptsd. I still have nightmares about it. 

However, when I run, I forget all of that. I forget the pain. I forget the panic. It's just me and the road and my music. I have gotten help for my ptsd. I haven't taken any pills since, other than when I had my kids and that was only when needed. I have found myself again. 

Ten years to the date I ran my fifth half marathon. On March 7th I will run my first full marathon. 

I am in charge of me. Not a diagnoses. Not an addiction. I am. And that's how it will stay. 

Elizabeth is just a few weeks off from becoming a MARATHONER!!! If we could visit her Facebook page Sweet Tea and Cupcakes and offer some encouragement I am sure she would appreciate is :)

Does running mean MORE to you than just fitness?

Friday Five ~ Five Races for 2015!

Oh Friday how I love thee, let me count the ways... FIVE which means it is time once again to link up with Mar on the Run, You Signed Up for WHAT?! and Eat Pray Run DC for the weekly installment of the Friday Five.

This week we are talking about 5 races to run in 2015.  Who doesn't love a good race?  There is nothing like hitting that button that makes it official.  For registering for something that you have been just itching to do.  For having a goal and a training schedule in the works.  So here is what I decided should be the 5 races to do in 2015.

1) The Ragnar/Relay Race.  These are fun and team building.  It takes a group of people who love to run and throws them together for an unforgettable weekend of miles, memories and moving.  Often taking you across an entire state or through some pretty amazing scenes.  I am signed up for Reach the Beach in September.  I really don't know my team...YET! But I will and I am pretty positive that we will have fun going from the mountains of NH to the beach,  Holla if you will be there too!!!! 4

2) The Fun Run.  Go out and get some color or some sparkle.  Run through mud, foam or obstacles. Join some friends and forget about pace and time.  Just do it for the pure love of getting out there and running with some of the ones you love most.  Introduce running in a fun way to your kids or neighbor.  Let go of the stress of training and constantly trying to PR and just RUN for FUN!

3) The Virtual Race.  So many great races, for some fantastic cause can be found VIRTUALLY! Why not pick a cause, find a race and then run it ANYWHERE at ANYTIME!  These can be a lot of fun and the bling can get pretty awesome!! I have done a handful of them and it is always exciting knowing that when I step out my door the race is on! It helps me get out and push it for all I have, even when there is no one else around!

4) The Bucket List Race.  Just go and DO IT! That one race that you have been dreaming about, turning green with envy every time you hear someone who is going to get to run THAT race.  Look into it plan and DO IT.  Make 2015 the year you ran THAT and let some of your dreams come true!!!

5) The Marathon.  Or really any race that you may be a little scared of.  A first 5k, a 10k or a half.  Or hell if you have done all that then maybe an ultra will scare you a bit.  Sign up for a race that will challenge you.  Make you push your limits and test your mental strength.  A race that training for will make you lay it all out on the road and discover just a bit more about yourself.  Whether it is distance you are pushing or terrain let it scare you and then go CONQUER it!!! I will be out there in May seeing if I can do something that is just a little crazy and a whole lot of scary!!! If you want to come join in you can use code Christina2015 to register for the Maine Coast Marathon and save $5.  The code is good for any of the Maine Coast races happening that weekend!

What races would you put on the must run list?  Have YOU ever done a bucket list race?

Treadmill high?

So I am not sure if you know this or not but I hate HATE treadmills. I am a Maine girl and because of it weather just doesn't phase me.  I have literally run in every type of weather that is thrown at us,
blizzards, hurricanes, rain, shine, humidity, Arctic cold and even a lightening storm a time or two (on my way home, I did NOT set out in lightening), but due to the amount of snow in the short time span that it has been snowing this winter the roads are really unsafe to run on.  The banks are too high to jump in case I need to dive out of the way of any vehicle not to mention that not only has the shoulder of the road disappeared so has most of the travel lanes, making the road barely passable for two cars at the same time.  Let alone two cars and a runner.  So, I gave in, sucked it up, put on my big girl panties and joined a gym to become acquainted with "The Treadmill" (dum dum daaaaa...).

Until today the most I had ever done on "The Treadmill" was 4 miles.  It was torture.  Actually, even
the 3 milers have been torture.  I get on and immediately am bored, and just do NOT want to be on it. I play games, mental games where I can't look at the distance until I see the TV switch to a commercial, or I mess with the pace, increasing it every 1/10 of a mile until I am full out sprinting (7 min mile for me) then hold the sprint until I want to die and go all the way back down and start over again.

It was one of those days today.  I remembered ear phones and I had my sister next to me.  Nothing good and distracting though was on and I was MISERABLE.  I kept making promises to myself about just getting it done.  Then around mile 4 I realized I was going into uncharted mill territory for myself and I got a little excited (you know you are a runner when you get excited realizing you are pushing limits).  I was playing the pacing game and I was holding down a pretty good pace.  I was thinking of you know what I may finish 6 in under an hour if you can just manage to not throw up just yet.  Then it hit me.  Into my brain flashed what I had been reading from lots of other mill runners.  "The Treadmill" shuts off after an hour.  What?! No it just couldn't be true.  As the minutes ticked by I was giddy, I was about to see if it was indeed true and then join the ranks of other runners who run long enough on the mill to have them shut themselves down!!! I knew I would hit 6 before an hour BUT I had to keep going I HAD to find out.  Sure enough, at 58 minutes it wouldn't let me increase my speed anymore and at the hour mark IT happened.  The machine slowed right down and forced me into cool down mode.

It was so totally COOL!!! I mean wicked cool.  How much of a badass was I?  I just ran until the machine shut OFF.  I outlasted that damn thing and I was still standing!!! I am a BAMR and there is no denying it now.  I was on an INSTANT runner's high.  Not the kind that happens when you are out in the fresh air, with the sun on your back (or in my case a soft rain on my face), or the gentle breeze blowing across you.  Not the kind you get when you just take in all of the beauty around you and sink into an easy pace as the scenes unfold and you just go whatever route your heart takes you.  Oh no,

this runner's high was all gym sweat and machines, TV and people watching,  This high wasn't all about the run in so much as I out lasted a damn machine! Me, the one who is just a mediocre runner.  I don't look like a runner and I am pretty sure all of them watching me thought that at least once while we were all hamsters going round and round. I do not have experience in training like I am training or going as far as I am going but I OUTLASTED the damn machine AND turned it back on for more.  I was so caught up in floating on this stale sweat smell high that I paid no attention to where I went after I wiped down the machine,  Ending up in the men's locker room.  Only realizing it when I opened locker 24 (SCORED my favorite number for a locker today!!!!) and nothing was there except the smell of Old Spice....

I was so high from running on "The Treadmill" that I was oblivious to anyting else.  Now that is what I would call a successful training run!

Marathon Monday ~ Running Loving Living

It's Marathon Monday!!!! And today we get to talk about the NYC Marathon and meet Toni! I am so excited to have Toni on today's blog, with her passion and love for running I found this marathon story to be exactly what I needed in the middle of yet another blizzard and blisteringly bitter temps.  I love that I am not the only one who has "secret" goals, that I am not the only one who is running her first marathon in "local" territory!!!!

A Marathon of Dreams from Toni:

Running a marathon has always been a goal of mine from the very first time I ran at age 19. I knew that someday I would run a marathon and my first would be NYC. Being a life long New Yorker I couldn’t imagine starting my marathon journey with any destination or than the New York City Marathon. I had tried for years to get in and finally was accepted in 2012 only to defer due to an injury. This worked out because that was the year of Sandy which led to the eventual cancellation of the event anyway. In the beginning of 2013 I developed the flu and pneumonia. During this illness I had to decide the fate of my deferral status and choose a year 2013, 2014 or 2015. Since I was so ill and couldn’t imagine running a marathon I decided to defer to 2014. No matter what I knew that 2014 would be my year to run NYC, finally! When I began training for this marathon I had never run longer than 14.2 miles so I knew I would have a lot of firsts during the training. I decided on a 4 month training plan and while there were some definite stumbles along the way I hit all the mileage goals I set out to do –14 miles, 16 miles, 18 miles and 20 miles. I had no goals except to finish and that was what I was doing, training to finish. I did have a “secret” goal to finish in under 5 hours. The weather predictions for marathon day were not great, cold and extremely windy. Predictions showed that for 21 miles of the marathon we would be fighting 20-30 mph headwinds, luckily for me my 20 miler eerily resembled these conditions. When I heard the predictions I quickly changed my mindset from my “secret” goal of running in under 5 hours to finishing without dying. Marathon morning arrived and the predictions of wind were not exaggerated, but it didn’t matter because I was finally going to accomplish my goal of running the NYC Marathon. My friend Crystal has been my running partner from the beginning and we always said we would do this marathon together and while we wouldn’t run it together, we would start it together! I will admit that I teared up when the race began. The emotions of actually running NYC were overwhelming, but they were quickly replaced by trying to run in a straight line while fighting the terrible winds on the Verrazano. That bridge kicked my butt. I even missed the first two mile markers because after I got off the bridge the next thing I knew I was turning into Brooklyn and seeing mile 3, I only wish the rest of the race felt that way! I savored every moment of this race. I stopped and took pictures, I talked to other runners, I interacted with the crowd. I never once even put on my headphones because I didn’t need them. The best thing I did was wear a shirt with my name on it because when I was feeling down the crowds lifted me back up by cheering me on by name. The halfway point of the race was a small bridge connecting Brooklyn to Queens, I stopped briefly to document it. We stayed in Queens for a couple of miles and then we headed to the Queensboro Bridge, which was the worst part of the race. It was almost 2 miles long and without the crowds all you heard was the breathing and footfalls of all the runners. It felt like we climbed that bridge forever. The best part of the bridge was when we started downhill. All the runner’s started cheering and I knew the bridge would be over soon. Coming off the bridge you could here the crowd’s cheering and it was amazing. I was told that the turn onto First Avenue was the most intimidating part of the race, but I just found it amazing! Four miles of runners on First Avenue. The sight brought tears to my eyes, plus at this point I was two-thirds of the way through the race! After First Avenue there was a brief visit to the Bronx and new territory for me because I had only ran 20 miles during training. The last 6.2 miles were rough, but I had some friends and family on route to support me just when I needed it the most at miles 22-24. After I left my family I knew the end was near and it was surreal. Crossing the finish line was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I had done it. I accomplished my goal of running the NYC Marathon and I had done it in 4:49:14!!!!!

I even got a tattoo to commemorate the achievement and what accomplishing this goal meant to me.

Aim high and live your dreams! You can follow all of my running adventures on my blog Running, Loving, Living.

Please go on over and follow Toni, she is so full of love, passion and inspiration.  

And speaking of running tats, do YOU have one? Want one? What would YOU get?